12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos
#1: “Stand up straight with your shoulders back”
A hierarchy as old as life. Acts mostly as a sensor for humans that tell them where on the hierarchy they are. Mind your social groups!
The definition of Being as the sum of human experiences.
Try and wake up at the same time other people typically do.
Stand up straight with your shoulders back; both physically and mentally.
Once defeated, you may be prone to more defeats until you recover (morale drop).
#2: “Treat yourself like someone you are responsible of helping”
Order & Chaos & the thin line between the two is where consciousness is.
We live in space and time, while a familiar place is known to us it can still surprise us. Our body that we live in may one day malfunction.
Chaos is the potential and the unknown while order is the realized and known.
An old friend may still betray us.
We perceive what objects mean before what they are objectively.
The way to live is between Chaos (associated with femininity) and Order (associated with masculinity). One foot into the unknown and one foot into the known that is stable and mastered.
To have your eyes open mean to realize your own nakedness and your vulnerability. In doing so, you realize your weakness, in turn realize everyone else’s weakness and your own capacity to do them harm. Malevolence or evil is causing harm to others willingly just for the sake of hurting them.
E.g.: a slap on the cheek to rectify bad behaviour is not evil because it is done with the intent of showing someone they are way out of line. On the other hand, slapping a young one just to show them “who’s boss” and keep them down is evil because the intent is not to rectify bad behaviour, but to hammer someone down only because you can. That’s abuse of power.
You don’t treat yourself properly because you see your own malevolence and decide that a person such as yourself should not walk the Earth.
#3: “Make friends with people who want the best for you”
Some people chose not to improve from their misery. You may see them being down and may want to help them for various reasons. Maybe quite selfish reasons. They keep staying in their dark corner and worse, they may pull you in it if you stay for too long. Or you may go in willingly with the idea of rescuing them.
Some people suffer and do not want help. You can only help them if they want to improve and, in that case, half the job is done because they are already going upwards.
When people are where they are, good or bad, up, or down, do ask them to what degree their actions have led them there. It’s not just fate that got them there, it’s themselves as well.
This is a bitter truth to accept, it’s not pleasant. However, it does come with a good side. You, by yourself and a bit of help from friends, can drastically improve your condition.
#4: “Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today”
When you have something to say, silence is a lie.
- Jordan B. Peterson
What you aim at determines what you see.
- Jordan B. Peterson
Your aim blinds you to everything else. If you are constantly unhappy maybe you should switch your aim from something too specific to something broader. Something that will present the opportunities you are currently missing because you do not see them.
#5: “Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them”
Do the arithmetic. Time spent on something (or nothing) and whether it is worth it. What are the side-effects of spending time like that? Does it make your resentful?
Kids crave adult attention. Even when they are criticized. They know they are getting it which can motivate them to do bad things.
The two-year olds test boundaries. They want to see how much they can keep doing what they have been doing to determine if it is acceptable. They learn by testing limits.
To shelter from any dangers or to be strong enough to face dangers?
Poorly socialized kids who cannot be friends or are being rejected by kids of the same age by the time they are 4 falls greatly behind in their progression and tend to be anti-social or lonely adults.
Limit rules. Too many rules lead to frustration. Keep it simple.
If you do not like your children, it is highly likely that other people will not like them either.
#6: “Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world”
God may send a flood to wipe out a city, but that is not punishment. The punishment only happens if you fail to prepare for it. That is wilful ignorance of the danger, that is to sin.
#7: “Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient)”
To delay gratification is to bargain with the future. For a better future.
Sacrifices are necessary to bargain with the future and ensure better days, or at least that’s what we generally stive for.
Rejected sacrifices, investments or giving up on this or doing things that build up to nothing can have the effect of unleashing Hell and bring the worst in people. I have been there.
Our moral strength is best tested when descending into the Underworld and being tempted to take shortcuts or simply betray our Being for something instant.
When in pain, it is easy to accept taking shortcuts just to alleviate the pain in the moment. Do not forget that in such times the character is both formed and tested. Being able to endure makes a strong individual.
#8: “Tell the truth — or, at least, don’t lie”
“What should you do when you don’t know what to do? Tell the truth.
- Jordan B. Peterson
Failing to question the actions of oneself and how they do not provide what is needed is inauthentic. Learning from one owns actions and admitting mistakes is an authentic procedure. It implicitly admits that oneself is not enough, that there are imperfections and that is more to learn.
Deceit has the power alone to make people the most miserable, generate monsters and descend the world into Hell.
Everyone needs a goal to go towards. State one as early as possible, pay attention because it may change, state your criteria for success and failure as clear as can be. Pay attention as they may change. They need to be clear enough.
#9: “Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don’t”
The past is a guide towards the future by remembering and understanding past mistakes.
The present has the power to change the past by giving past events a different meaning. The present can show that all the bad things that had happened built towards something.
Do not steal problems from someone else. Listen, when they talk, they think and through that they explore their problem and thus may come to a solution.
Listening to people can be hard because you need to be able to put yourself in their shoes and understand the world from their point of view. This can have the effect that it changes your own perspective of the world as you expose yourself to such a different experience than your own. This can also be a reason why people don’t want to do it. Because it may change them.
#10: “Be precise in your speech”
The world is a lot more than it is perceived (as a useful place to navigate and not merely as objects). It is a complex system with multiple intricate dependencies that we do not see. They are taken for granted to some extent.
The world is a lot more than meets the eye.
Ignoring problems does not solve them nor makes them go away. Not attending to our dissatisfaction will only allow it to pile up until one day when it will be too much and too late to tackle. When that happens, reality is shaken, and Chaos emerges.
Problems must be precisely stated when they first present themselves so that they do not grow beyond fixing. To do this, simultaneously, means to admit that there is a problem. Which is just the first step towards fixing it.
#11: “Do not bother children when they are skateboarding”
Children, and adults alike, require environments (playgrounds) that are dangerous. Not too dangerous that it will kill you, but dangerous enough to provide a challenge and allow them to manifest their bravery. Mastery of something dangerous is an achievement.
Hierarchies create inequality by default because what is important is at the top, what we value and desire. Symmetrically, what is at the bottom is undesirable. It is not of that much value.
Overprotection inhibits the development of character. When someone is too overprotective of you, that is a bad sign of them being overdependent. They may not realize it, but that can cause harm eventually.
#12: “Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street”
Beings, human beings, unlike God, have limits and are imperfect and this is what makes life meaningful and other people desirable. You truly love someone when you accept them with their flaws for that is what makes them unique. Imagine someone with flaws beyond counting and working to overcome them. You cannot not admire them.
Be happy for the little things in life, things that you may see or could enjoy each day. A few minutes of appreciation are a few minutes of sunshine on any bad day. Aim for the future but remember that you live in the present. Memento mori.
These are my book notes for 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos by Jordan B. Peterson.